What if it was just you and me
I would ask for no one else
Would you want complete silence
Or could I say a few words
Say a few jokes
Make you smile
What if it was just you and me
I would not make many demands
Would you like that
Or do you really prefer
To be alone
I could do that too
What if it was just you and me
I would not be a pain
Would you want me
Or would you want
Someone else
I wish for you that I could be someone else
What if it was just you and me
Would you let me in
Or would you keep me away
Would you talk or stay silent
There is so much to say and do
Would you let me be with you through it all
What if it was just you and me
Maybe we could be friends
-Nichole
I am posting here because there is less of a chance of anyone I don't want reading this reading this that way.
I hate this!!! I keep hearing all these lies about it again and again. It drives me nuts. I hate liking him for so many reasons yet I do. And I just want his attention and it amuses me and pains me at the same time that he may like her and he may never notice me in that way.
At least he knows I exist. It's more than I can say for previous crushes.
I want to dislike him like I have disliked so many guys in the past. I hate that he asks her to study with him. He shows up where she works. And when she told me she liked him my heart plumetted. But the other night was so hard. I thought knowing that she liked him would help me get over him faster but it hasn't. My resolve to get over him is firmer but I have not gotten over him. And the crush reminds me of how I don't think I will end up with any guy in XA no matter how wonderful they are. I just don't see it and then all these fears and lies asail me. And I just want to stop wanting attention from the opposite sex. But I want guys to notice me and say I am beautiful, smart, and whatever else. And I want to spend time with them, even if I am not with them as their girlfriend, but just a friend. I laugh when I think of girls who want to be married right now, because I don't want to be. I can't imagine that. I can't even imagine myself in a relationship! But I do want to be noticed. I don't try to get attention, I am not that kind of girl but I long for it. I wish sometimes that a guy (besides Rod because he always just wants to see me for ministry stuff) would come to my apt to see me and not one of my roommates. Too see me and talk with me. Ask me to be with them. Not with Al, or Lauren but me. Just me. I like that the guys come up here and visit... more than I will say because most of the time I get annoyed because they are here alot more than other girls are here. And I like being in the presence of other females alot. But I like the guys too. The guys of XA are pretty awesome. I just get bummed because I want them to notice me and be friends with me, and they aren't really. I would only really call Rod my friend out of the guys in XA. It's nice to have him. He's a great one. I don't want to underappreciate him. I just wish... you know. I hate this! I know the truth, just the lies keep crowding in and I want things to change and be different but I don't think they ever will be!
-Niccy
I put a poem on my xanga. Later it may go to my facebook, but check it out!
xxx.xanga.com/netcatz
